if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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