I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
