He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
