My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
