i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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