Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
