The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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