I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
