There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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