hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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