All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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