so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I need a beard to bite.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
