I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
