Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
