HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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