i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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