just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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