We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
