Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
