We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
this is an emotional support booty call
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
