I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
