If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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