I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
