So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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