I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
