yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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