At least make sure they are 18
Why
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
