pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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