i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
