I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
