We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize