what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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