There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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