Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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