OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There's always time for handjobs
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
