Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
