im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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