i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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