I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
