how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
