If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
