Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
