i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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