Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
