I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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