Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Dicks are not precious.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize