I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize