i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize