At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
