I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
