I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Someone signed my nipple.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
