Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
