If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
