I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
