shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
