He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize