In the future we'll all be gay
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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