My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
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i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
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Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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