I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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