dude i'm inner monologue high
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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