can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize